during the night, I fell and cried
by a basket full of flowers
Summary: Minato has always known it: eventually, in order to save the world he loves and that strange boy who comes only at night, he will have to die. But there's one thing he knows; if he's going to die, then he'll have to live first. [Series of snippets]


**AN** : This takes place in an AU in which Minato has to die to save the world (I mean, as it is in the game, except that here Minato is aware from the very beginning). This chapter is him telling everyone about it. Strange, I know, to begin with the end.  
This probably will be rarely updated - if at all - because my interests are very fickle. Nonetheless, I decided to post this, even if only to get it out of my system.

* * *

 **acceptance**

* * *

Today, Death wears eyes the color of the ocean.

"I'm gonna leave soon," Minato tells them, impassive as always.

There's a startled kind of silence, as they all expect him to turn around and say it's nothing but a joke. He wonders just how more extreme their reaction would be if they knew the truth.

"The family taking care of me right now are having some troubles, back home," he says slowly, as calmly as he can, but he can feel his heart thumping. "Having me away is causing trouble. I'll be gone in a month or so."

Immediately, Mitsuru straightens. "The Kirijo can pay for your expenses, of course."

The others looks relieved at that (though Shinjiro keeps somewhat of an impassive face, only the twitching of his eyes telling his true thoughts), but Minato continues, "They won't accept it."

"They will be forced to," Mitsuru says, a bit darkly, her dislike for Minato's caretakers shining through. "We have to keep you here."

"Because of the Dark Hour?" Minato asks, a bit cruel, in order to throw her off. It works, guilt blooms on her face, and he feels horrible. "For your own good, just let me go."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Junpei jumps up, looking frazzled. "Why are _you_ so desperate to leave?"

Minato pauses. He should have guessed that they would notice his desperation. Yet, he doesn't know how to answer that. His eyes find the floor.

"I..." _I'm gonna die_ , he thinks, and suddenly, it looks like the worst fate he could ever face. "If I could stay here, I would," he says, and it's probably the most truthful he has ever been with them. "I'm happier here than I've ever been before."

"Then why go?" Yukari asks, sounding just as off-put as Minato feels, if not less. "You can stay here! With us!"

Minato blinks once, then twice. His eyes are burning. "You don't get it," he's starting to feel frustrated. It would have been better if they had just accepted it without a word. "I don't have a choice. It's for your own good."

"Why?" Yukari says, persistent.

Minato stays silent.

"Minato...?"

"I," he stumbles, "I can't tell you."

"Minato!"

"I'm sorry," he says, in a rush, taking a few steps backwards. To think he would have to resort to running away. "I can't tell you." The entrance door is only a few steps away. If he breaks out into a run, he can make it in a split second.

"Why not?" Mitsuru asks, hands on her hips. "Arisato, if we can help you-"

"You can't," he says, cutting her off. "I'm sorry. If I... If I could tell you..." but he can. He can tell them. It's just- "I've never..." He's never told anyone about it.

Only Pharos knows.

"Are you being coerced into it?" Mitsuru asks, taking a step forward. "Are your caretakers hurting you?"

He takes a step backward. At this point, the others are just watching him silently. The look on Yukari's face spells heartbreak, though, and Junpei looks distinctly panicked, sporadically glancing at Minato and then Mitsuru and then back to Minato.

"No. They're not," he forces himself to say. His guardians are innocent, in this at least. "I promise they're not. I'm, I'm doing this on my own," even as he says that, he can feel Pharos' comforting presence, his whisper of regret, and the silence of the Reaper.

"Is someone else hurting you?"

"No, no one's hurting me." His voice sounds distant, now. "It's just," he stops, unsure how to continue. Pharos' face comes back to mind. "It can't be helped."

"I'm sure that they'd be more agreeable if we take care of the financial aspects of keeping you here," Mitsuru continues, unfaltering.

"That's not the problem," Minato manages. It would have been so much easier if this was solvable with money.

"Then what is the problem?"

"It can't be helped," he repeats. "You can't do anything about it. I have to..." _die_ , "...leave," he finishes, slumping.

"Why don't we call them now?" Mitsuru challenges. She must have realized he's lying. "I can discuss it with them if you're too uncomfortable to do it."

He's backed into a corner now. If refusing help was suspicious before, now it'll just show it has nothing to do with his guardians. He looks away. "Please don't."

"Why not?"

 _Why, why, why_ \- can't they ask something else?! He can't explain it! He just can't tell them. He's never told anyone. Only Pharos knows, and it'll stay that way as long as he's alive.

He closes his eyes, takes another step back. "Please don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

"Minato..." Fuuka suddenly says, bringing all attention to herself. "You're not... You're not dying, are you?"

But Minato can't answer, breath caught in his chest. His throat is tight.

"Wha-! Hey, come on, don't joke about that!" Junpei exclaims, sounding a bit desperate.

"Why- why would you think that?" Yukari asks, glancing at Minato every few seconds.

Fuuka looks at them sadly, but doesn't answer. She's probably seen him moping around, then.

Shinjiro sighs loudly. "Doesn't matter anyway. Looks like it's the truth."

At that, the others turn to look at Minato.

 _You've been hiding it for so long_ , Pharos whispers in his ear, his fingers lacing with Minato's. _Why don't you ask for help?_

"I..."

"Minato?"

"I didn't want to cause you grief," Minato says softly, apathetic facade breaking, hugging himself. "I thought it would be better if I didn't tell you anything."

"Minato," Akihiko says softly, suddenly at his side. He guides him to a chair to sit down.

He lets himself be guided. The others crowd around the table, too. He barely notices it, too busy staring down at the table.

"I didn't want to cause you grief," Minato says once more, closing his eyes tightly. "I, I didn't... I kept telling myself that I shouldn't befriend you, but... I thought... there's no point in dying if I don't live first."

"Dying?" Yukari repeats. "Minato...! What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says. "I know I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have-" _befriended you?_ How could he possibly explain his train of thoughts? "Once I realized the trouble my disappearance would cause, it was already too late."

"Wait, wait! Why are you dying? Are you sick?" Junpei asks, voice a bit choked up.

"We can pay the doctors, if need be," Mitsuru cuts in, her face tight.

"It's not an illness," Minato says, floundering for words to avoid telling them. "I'm not supposed to tell you. I wasn't even supposed to tell you I would die." He takes a moment to breathe. "Please give me some time."

"Arisato..." Mitsuru says slowly. "When are you supposed to...?"

She can't even say it. He would have never expected that from Mitsuru, of all people. "In two months." He pauses, catching his breath. "It's either me or..." _humanity_ , but strangely, he doesn't think that answer will satisfy them.

"Minato..."

He closes his eyes, giving a small smile. "Don't be sad. I'm happy where I am." He feels Pharos' arms settle around his shoulders, comforting. "I've accomplished everything I wished to."

Today, as always, Death wears eyes the color of the ocean.


End file.
